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Mitch McConnell Got A Perm

We’re as surprised as you. But see for yourself...

Mitch McConnell Got a Perm!


The truth is, getting a perm is the about the only thing the one-time leader of Kentucky’s Republican Party hasn’t tried to seem more like Rand Paul.

So desperate to avoid a primary challenge, Senator McConnell has been falling all over himself to show the most radical element of his party that he’s just like their leader.

  • He’s been speaking at tea party rallies (just like Paul) professing passion for positions he once opposed.
  • He hired Rand Paul’s cousin to run his campaign (just like Paul).
  • Suddenly, he became “not interested” in working for a compromise to mitigate the sequester’s austere, across-the-board spending cuts (just like Paul).
  • And perhaps most shamefully, he reversed his position on the Violence Against Women Act, deciding to oppose bipartisan legislation that has helped decrease domestic violence by 2/3 in the last two decades (You guessed it… just like Paul).

McConnell is right to be scared. For thirty years, he's sacrificed Kentucky priorities for his own pursuit of power and as a result, polls show him to be the least popular senator in the country. With his own party now turning against him, he hopes the majority of us won't notice that we're being ignored while he's swapping ideologies to appease the radical few.

But even without the perm, it's clear Mitch McConnell suffers from a severe identity crisis. Maybe a father-son chat with Ron Paul would help? How about chipping in a few bucks this April Fools Day to help us give Mitch McConnell an identity he won’t forget: Former Senator.